Nerdy Suburban Mom

I absolutely loathe housewifery. I am not good at it, I do not like it, I am bored by it, I am frustrated by it, I feel unfulfilled and unproductive while doing it… I could go on, but you get the idea. This was my day:

• be frustrated by trying to remotely access my work email;
• pick up Lillian to go to Library Story Time;
  • sit in on Story Time since Lillian is afraid of being left alone with the nice children, reader, and books;
  • check out a bunch of books that Lillian picked out
• dash home to meet Brett and get ready to go to the Farmers’ Market;
  • rake the lawn while Brett changes Reuven’s very wet diaper;
  • go to the Farmers’ Market;
  • buy peaches, cheese, eggs, ground turkey, and a basil plant;
• get home, start chatting on the phone to Allisson;
• start making egg salad for sandwiches for dinner;
  • realize we do not have mayonnaise, mustard, or bread, all critical ingredients for egg salad sandwiches;
    • start making “walnut and cream pasta” instead;
      • realize we do not have any milk except chocolate milk, which would make for a fairly nasty pasta sauce;
        • send Brett back to Farmers’ Market for milk and butter, while peeling hard-boiled eggs (for what is now tomorrow night’s dinner);
• run to the front door when Lillian answers it;
  • thank our neighbor who said her husband wanted the pine needles we had raked up so he would be over in the morning to take them off our lawn;
  • tell Lillian to please not answer the door without a grown-up around;
• cook pasta, smash walnut halves into walnut pieces, find parmesan in fridge, find bread crumbs in cabinet;
• ask Lillian to please not bother pouring extra salt on that;
• let Lillian run the onion chopper thing;
• still talking to Allisson on the phone;
• deal with Lillian tantrum when she realizes Daddy has gone to the store (well, Farmers’ Market) without giving her a hug and so tries to go out the front door after him and gets told to stay in the house;
• when Brett returns with milk and butter, figure out what to do with the lump of dough that milk plus butter plus breadcrumbs makes (seriously — the cookbook picture shows a creamy sauce, I have a squashy thing that looks like a soggy loaf of bread studded with walnuts, how is this supposed to coat pasta?);
• serve dinner;
  • eat dinner;
  • convince Lillian to continue eating dinner;
  • nurse Reuven;
  • convince Lillian to continue eating dinner;
• when Brett returns with mayonnaise and mustard, finish egg salad;
• collapse and blog.

Somewhere in there Lillian ended up in bed and Reuven ended up asleep. Now I know why Martha (a full-time stay-at-home mom I know) daily enjoyed a glass of wine or two after dinner. This lifestyle is enough to make anyone drink.

Oh yeah, and religious nutjobs who think my attitude is unfeminine and inappropriate according to what the Bible instructs: bite me.