{"id":31,"date":"2007-08-21T18:55:06","date_gmt":"2007-08-21T23:55:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.altschuls.net\/erica\/blog\/?p=31"},"modified":"2007-08-21T21:31:42","modified_gmt":"2007-08-22T02:31:42","slug":"housewives-and-alcohol","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.altschuls.net\/erica\/blog\/?p=31","title":{"rendered":"Housewives and alcohol&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I absolutely loathe housewifery.  I am not good at it, I do not like it, I am bored by it, I am frustrated by it, I feel unfulfilled and unproductive while doing it&#8230; I could go on, but you get the idea.  This was my day:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>be frustrated by trying to remotely access my work email;<\/li>\n<li>pick up Lillian to go to Library Story Time;\n<ul>\n<li>sit in on Story Time since Lillian is afraid of being left alone with the nice children, reader, and books;<\/li>\n<li>check out a bunch of books that Lillian picked out<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li>dash home to meet Brett and get ready to go to the Farmers&#8217; Market;\n<ul>\n<li>rake the lawn while Brett changes Reuven&#8217;s very wet diaper;<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li>go to the Farmers&#8217; Market;<\/li>\n<li>buy peaches, cheese, eggs, ground turkey, and a basil plant;<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li>get home, start chatting on the phone to Allisson;<\/li>\n<li>start making egg salad for sandwiches for dinner;\n<ul>\n<li>realize we do not have mayonnaise, mustard, or bread, all critical ingredients for egg salad sandwiches;\n<ul>\n<li>start making &#8220;walnut and cream pasta&#8221; instead;\n<ul>\n<li>realize we do not have any milk except chocolate milk, which would make for a fairly nasty pasta sauce;\n<ul>\n<li>send Brett back to Farmers&#8217; Market for milk and butter, while peeling hard-boiled eggs (for what is now tomorrow night&#8217;s dinner);<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li>run to the front door when Lillian answers it;\n<ul>\n<li>thank our neighbor who said her husband wanted the pine needles we had raked up so he would be over in the morning to take them off our lawn;<\/li>\n<li>tell Lillian to please not answer the door without a grown-up around;<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li>cook pasta, smash walnut halves into walnut pieces, find parmesan in fridge, find bread crumbs in cabinet;<\/li>\n<li>ask Lillian to please not bother pouring extra salt on that;<\/li>\n<li>let Lillian run the onion chopper thing;<\/li>\n<li>still talking to Allisson on the phone;<\/li>\n<li>deal with Lillian tantrum when she realizes Daddy has gone to the store (well, Farmers&#8217; Market) without giving her a hug and so tries to go out the front door after him and gets told to stay in the house;<\/li>\n<li>when Brett returns with milk and butter, figure out what to do with the lump of dough that milk plus butter plus breadcrumbs makes  (seriously &#8212; the cookbook picture shows a creamy sauce, I have a squashy thing that looks like a soggy loaf of bread studded with walnuts, how is this supposed to coat pasta?);<\/li>\n<li>serve dinner;\n<ul>\n<li>eat dinner;<\/li>\n<li>convince Lillian to continue eating dinner;<\/li>\n<li>nurse Reuven;<\/li>\n<li>convince Lillian to continue eating dinner;<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li>when Brett returns with mayonnaise and mustard, finish egg salad;<\/li>\n<li>collapse and blog.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Somewhere in there Lillian ended up in bed and Reuven ended up asleep.  Now I know why Martha (a full-time stay-at-home mom I know) daily enjoyed a glass of wine or two after dinner.  This lifestyle is enough to make anyone drink.<\/p>\n<p><em>Oh yeah, and religious nutjobs who think my attitude is unfeminine and inappropriate according to what the Bible instructs: <strong>bite me<\/strong>. <\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I absolutely loathe housewifery. I am not good at it, I do not like it, I am bored by it, I am frustrated by it, I feel unfulfilled and unproductive while doing it&#8230; I could go on, but you get the idea. This was my day: be frustrated by trying to remotely access my work [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-31","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-cranky-rant"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.altschuls.net\/erica\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/31","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.altschuls.net\/erica\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.altschuls.net\/erica\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.altschuls.net\/erica\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.altschuls.net\/erica\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=31"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.altschuls.net\/erica\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/31\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.altschuls.net\/erica\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=31"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.altschuls.net\/erica\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=31"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.altschuls.net\/erica\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=31"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}